Endless Possibilities

Friday afternoons are my favorite part of the week.  Endless opportunities.  What will this weekend hold?  I predict a sleepy saturday morning, filled with coffee and bagels and food network under a quilt while I sit on the couch.  Autopilot on.  I predict a late saturday night with too much whiskey and maybe some dancing and jumping.  Some competitive wii.  I predict a banana split.  I predict that this moment holds all my happiness, every early morning and late afternoon sigh of this week. Every time I scraped the windshield, shivered as the car warmed up, thought about getting coffee but realized I didn't have time.  All those moments spent waiting for right now.  When I have the ability, however limited, to change my future.  Whatever I want it to be. Productive or lazy, sleepy or boozy or busy or a weekend spent reading an entire book and never putting on shoes.  I could run away to Montreal.  Or Aruba.  I could never come back.  I could take up knitting.  I could bake a four layer cake.  I could take a nap.  

In college, in a class that I frequently found to be "optional" in my schedule, I had a teacher that was obsessed with Jonathan Swift.  I can't find the specific essay, but I remember one whole afternoon (on a day I actually deigned to show up), spent discussing the idea of postponing happiness, how Swift said that we humans are really incapable of being truly happy because we always want the next thing to happen.  She illustrated by saying that she always thought she would be so happy on vacation, sitting on a beach with a margarita in hand, but then once she was gone she could only think about everything waiting for her at home.  And I remember at the time taking copious notes, because I saw so much truth in this statement.  How I wanted to prove Jonathan Swift wrong and truly live in my moments of happiness.  Or maybe I just wanted to prove her wrong.

I am now happy (!) to say that I am happy.  

It is Friday, and I'm happy.  And even when I postpone my happiness, I know when it will come. Friday afternoon.   

Friday afternoon I can change the future.  Friday afternoon I can do anything.